Poor Choices

On my own again

Stranded on an island

Of my thoughts-

The waters that surround me

Are currents of my memories,

Swirling whirlpools of chaos

Keeping me isolated.

 

I can’t escape

The dangerous waves of

“What ifs”

Formed with the wind and the choices of my past-

But I’ll construct

My escape from this godforsaken island

With a study raft of good intentions

And move forward on unsteady waters

To a new world yet unexplored.

Where We Came From

Let’s reminisce

About the days

When we were old enough

To know better

But young enough

Not to care.

When we spent

Our hard earned money

On temporary satisfaction

Gone as soon

As they’d been obtained.

Liquid courage

To get us through

The days to come-

And the only things

We have to show

For our mistakes

Are the friendships

That made us stronger

And the lessons

We’ll never forget.

 

Extraordinary You

You are more
Than the sum
Of your lessons
Since the beginning of your time,
Stepping stones that lead
To potential
Forks, pitfalls, and hills
On this journey of life.

You are more
Than the difference
Of past and future colliding
The Impossible distance
From where you’ve been
And the peaks you’ve conquered
To where you’ll go
Speeding ahead into the unknown.

You are more
Than the quotient
Of your loved ones
Provided by a lottery
Good or bad
And the ones you choose
To reveal yourself to
Based on circumstance.

You are more
Than the product
Of society and individuality,
Pressure and instinct,
Colluding with each other
In public and in private
To create a version of yourself
For your success.

You are more
Than a complex equation
Of contradictories
That takes time and patience
For a solution.

You are more.
You are so much more.

Pay It Forward

Anyone who is looking for help

On their darkest days

Or even in their happiest of times

Does not deserve to suffer.

 

The act of seeking support

Shows a desire to change

A hunger for growth

A passion to live their lives

In the best way possible.

 

The pursuit of self enlightenment

Finding one’s purpose

And traveling through the

Hills and valleys of life

With their dignity in tact

Is reached through

Helping others

So they can build their foundation

And support themselves

And helping yourself

Be the best version of you.

 

Happy Father’s Day to all of the Dad’s out there! This poem was inspired by my dad. He is the most giving person that I know, and has helped more people than I can count. My family continues to inspire me and teach me lessons about life, and I couldn’t have asked for better support.

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Rain

Isn’t it amazing

How the simplicity

Of water

Falling

Has the ability to

Purify the transgressions of the world

And set our minds at ease

To start anew?

The act of falling-

A devastating blow-

Occurs before we build

Ourselves back up.

 

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Getting Help

I want to tell you

How I’m feeling

But don’t want dependence

To weigh you down.

 

I want you to see

That I’m hurting.

It should be obvious

Without words.

 

I want to know

Why nobody is around

When I’m hurting the most

But I don’t want an audience

For my tears.

 

I want to be heard

But can’t help

Soldiering on in silence.

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Crystal Clean

Crystal Clean

By: Kimberly Wollenburg

Crystal Clean is the emotional and honest story lived and told by a mother struggling with meth addiction.

Kim had low self-esteem through her adolescence and started using drugs and alcohol at a very young age to help her cope with her depression. By the time Kim was in her late 30’s, she was using every day. Kim tells her story starting from the way she was treated at school at a very young age up until she was in her early 40’s and had been sober for 4 years. She tells the story openly sharing both the good things that she learned and all of the negative things that she had to pull herself out of in order to survive and be there for her son. She talks about denial, loving yourself, and taking care of yourself.

It was heartbreaking to read everything that Kim had to go through and the lessons that she had to learn the hard way in order to come out on top of her addiction. It was a tear-jerker when Kim retells her stories about her son Andy, and it truly touched my heart the relationship that she had with her son and how a mother should be willing to do anything to protect their children, including sobering up. The most emotional part was when Kim was talking about being in rehab and having to confront her parents about how she felt.

Crystal Clean is a must read for anyone in this generation due to it’s powerful insight on life provided by the wonderful author and mother that dealt with it first hand. It was the most honest work of art that I’ve ever read and would greatly recommend it to anyone. Hands down, 10/10.

**********

“For some people, it only takes one time. Others may use for a few days or a week before it turns on them, but it always does. And the result is always the same. One hundred percent of the time. Meth will rip you apart and destroy you, no matter who you are, and by then it won’t matter how thin you are or how clean your house is because the whole picture is uglier than anything you can possibly imagine.”

“Getting sober is hard. It hurts, mentally and physically. Staying sober takes true courage. The courage to heal not only the pain caused by addiction, but also all the pain that led to addiction.”